Reflections on Gratitude and Cleaning Up

Sometimes, in the very early morning before there is any hint of light yet, I lay in bed while Ahri nurses (usually for the first time since I laid her down for the night) and Ronan climbs in and snuggles up on my other side and gently falls back to sleep. As I look at their peaceful, sleeping faces and listen to their soft breathing, feel their young, supple skin, I am left to marvel at the surreal-ness of it all, to bask in the beauty emanating from these perfect, innocent beings. How could I be so lucky? These magnificent little people came FROM me, are a part of me -- I am forever bound to these wonderful children, who will one day grow into adults.

I am so thankful for these quiet moments before the day begins, because all too quickly everyone is up and life gets busy for the day again. It is so nice to have a quiet moment to reflect on just how special my three children are to me, and their significance in my life and their limitless potential to have a positive impact this world.

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The other day when Ellie was blessing our dinner, she mentioned how thankful she is that "our daddy can go to work, even though our hearts cry when he is gone," and that, "we are so thankful that we have everything we need" (among a detailed list of things she's thankful for, including: toys, refrigerator, each other, and mama making yummy dinner for us).

I am so proud of her -- she is so thoughtful.

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I found that I slowly slipped into apathy during my pregnancy with Ahri. I was so tired, and sick, and feeling a bit overwhelmed I started to let things slide. Recently I realized just how much I have been slacking and decided it was time for me to start cleaning up our home life. For instance:

*TV: I never envisioned my children watching any TV -- I don't feel like it is healthy for adults, let alone children. (There are so many healthy, constructive things to do in a day.) I realized the other day how horrible our TV habits had gotten. My children were watching TV (only ever PBS Kids, but still...) EVERY day! Sometimes one half-hour show, sometimes several. I found it way too easy to let the TV entertain my kids. Yikes! Time to cut that out. We're back to only watching a little on the weekend for a treat.

*cold cereal: I don't buy sugar cereals, but even so -- cold cereal has never been "breakfast" in our house, always just a snack. Ellie LOVES cold cereal, and for a long time she has been allowed to eat it for breakfast on the weekend, if she chooses. Recently I realized that more and more Ellie has been eating cold cereal for breakfast regardless of the day. Oops. (Never have had a problem with Ronan. His favorite breakfast in the world is a huge bowl of oatmeal with blueberries and yogurt mixed in.)

*impatience: Much to my shame I've been increasingly impatient with my kids over the last year. There is no excuse (well, I've had lots of excuses, but none are valid ;). It is my determination every day when I wake up to not lose my patience with my sweet children; they deserve all the patience and love in this world. Instead of losing my patience, I've been trading it for loves. It makes for a much more peaceful, content household.

It is simply amazing to me how SMALL changes can make such a HUGE difference in the way we all feel.