My, How Time Flies

Yesterday marked Ronan's seven month birthday, as well as my little brother's 28th! Wow. What a trip. I can't believe it's been seven months since that beautiful evening Ronan gently entered this world. The feelings are still so fresh in my mind -- the waiting (will this baby ever come??), wondering (will this new life be a boy or a girl?), the excitement, the nervousness (am I going to be able to do this again? Will this baby and my body allow this birth to be intervention free? hospital free? Will this baby be healthy? How am I going to handle two kids?). I remember the joy I felt after my midwife informed me that yes indeed, I was in fact dilating. After two weeks of contractions -- they never did get regular! -- I wasn't sure I was even in labor and decided to have my midwife check me out (I was feeling so frustrated and discouraged...) and she about fell over and said I was at a seven! I was elated -- these intense contractions were doing something! We decided that because I hadn't really eaten or slept that I should go back home (to my parents' house where we were staying) to eat and try to sleep. My contractions immediately intensified, I managed to eat a little, stopping every few seconds to focus and relax, all the while talking with my mom about what I was feeling. Finally I told Donovan I think we better go back to Bella. We got there and it was just two midwives, Donovan and me in such a beautiful, relaxing, quiet environment. So peaceful. My midwives were awesome, I never had to say a word -- they knew exactly when a contraction was coming on and would synchronously start counter-pressure on my legs. They showed Donovan how to do counter-pressure on my back. He was awesome. So supportive, sweet, concerned and knew just how to help me stay relaxed. I started feeling pushy and was having a hard time staying relaxed. I decided to get into the tub. Ahhhhh! They don't call water "nature's epidural" for nothing! I hadn't intended on giving birth in the water, but as soon as I got in, I knew I wasn't coming out without my baby! It didn't take too long before our sweet baby made the gentle transition from me, to the water, to my chest. Beautiful. Ecstatic. Joy. Miraculous. Disbelief. Relief. I don't really have the words to describe it. It was minutes before it occurred to us to check the gender. A boy! I wasn't surprised. Ronan came to me in a dream two weeks before he was born. Such a difference between Ronan's birth and Ellie's birth (they were both beautiful -- just so different). Donovan and I just hung out with Ronan for probably an hour and a half before the midwives asked our permission if they could weigh him, measure him, etc. Amazing. I sometimes feel a little melancholy that I most likely will not experience the beauty and miracle of pregnancy, labor and birth again. I LOVE them! To be so blessed to be a vessel of new life, to go through the most intense, challenging and beautiful experience my body will ever have, fulfilling the purpose my body was made for -- and have the end result be something so priceless and life changing -- so empowering and awesome.

I don't know why I felt compelled to share Ronan's birth story now. I haven't ever written about it. I think I needed to revisit that experience through writing. It helps bring the feelings back to the forefront of my mind, reminding me how lucky I am to have two beautiful, special, so very unique people as my children. I think it's just what my soul needed after a VERY challenging day of motherhood yesterday! ;-) Thanks for indulging me!